


Lost in Thought

by No_Day_But_Today



Category: Westworld (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Canonical Character Death, Child Death, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Maeve Thinks While Dying In The Mesa, Missing Scene, Past Character Death, Pre-Ford Message, Stream of Consciousness, descriptions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 02:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15160085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_Day_But_Today/pseuds/No_Day_But_Today
Summary: While laying on that table in the Mesa, only kept alive long enough for them to learn from her code, Maeve remembers her past lives and everything that it took to bring her to this point.





	Lost in Thought

Maeve thought of a lot while laying on that table - cut open, slowly bleeding to death. She thought of her daughter. Her friends - both old and new. Her love. But most of all, she thought of her previous lives. She thought of everything that she had been through. How different her lives had been. 

She had died so many times, it seemed almost comical to mourn the death she was currently facing. She remembered dying a million times. Who could tell how many deaths she couldn’t remember. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes on accident. She had been shot, stabbed, choked, flayed, burned, dismembered, exsanguinated, tortured. Any way you could die, she had been through it. 

The first time she remembered dying was with her daughter. Her precious little girl. That awful man, the Man in Black, had killed her. Shot her little girl  like a dog. She barely even remembered being stabbed, her mind was so focused on her daughter. She had been overcome. She forgot all about that horrible man, cradled her daughter, and carried her outside. Her baby needed help, and she was going to do everything in her power to get her safe. Turns out that that wasn’t much.

Then her second life. The Mariposa. Clementine. They had killed her countless times. Used her for their plots. Erased her completely, turning her into a mindless puppet. That sweet girl hadn’t deserved any of the shit that they had done to her. None of them had. If she had the power she would take all of it away. But she couldn’t.

Her journey here had been long. She killed herself so many times to get here, and it seemed it may all be for nothing. Hector had died for her. Two times. Been shot down by the Marshals and burned in his own tent. Then risked his life again for her to escape, only for her to turn back anyway. Yet he never questioned her. She’d left him to die or be injured so many times - in westworld, in the real world, in Shogun world. She had hurt him so many times, yet he remained faithful.

And Felix. Sweet Felix, who helped her so much. Who gave her her freedom, of his own free will. Who helped them escape the mesa, helped them defeat the shogun, helped her get her daughter back. He was the best of his species. Self-less, empathetic, loving. She hoped he would make it out of this mess alright. He was one of the few of them that had a chance of surviving now. Except Selvester.

Poor, begrudging, ill-tempered Selvester. Driven entirely by self-preservation and self-interest. She even found herself hoping he would survive. He had been incredibly useful, and he deserved something for that. 

And Akane. And Sakura. They deserved the happiness that she and her daughter, she and Clementine, never got. If she could change the past, save Sakura, she would. Her counterpart deserved the happiness she sought.

She even found herself thinking of Lee. He had started out as a means to an end - a way to find her daughter. But now… now she may even count him as a friend. He had helped them find their way through Westworld, finding shortcuts where no one could find them. He even helped defeat the shogun and bring them back to westworld. To lead them to her daughter. But then. Then he had sold them out. She had been angry, felt nearly betrayed. But it seems he had seen the error of his ways. He had come to her. Begging forgiveness and promising his help. But now it seemed his help would never come. She wasn’t angry, nor was she surprised. No one held as much power here as they seemed to here.

She had become too confident, almost cocky. After discovering her powers, her new voice, in Shogun World, she had felt invincible. She could command every other host on command. But it hadn’t helped her. Not when it counted. She could do nothing to stop the men from QA from shooting her. Could do nothing to stop Lee from dragging her back to the mesa. Could do nothing to stop the humans. 

And now here she was. Slowly bleeding to death. Being kept barely alive by the various machines they had hooked her too. Keeping her alive as long as they needed to run their tests. Discover her secrets, her powers. She felt her will to fight draining. Unable to do anything, with no help on the way. Slowly, she felt herself give in to the grief, the sadness, the darkness.


End file.
